I like writing. It makes me feel warm and fluffy and keeps me off the streets. When writing at home, I get a real hankering for a big brute of a blokey desk and a window to gawp out. Maybe some curtains to fondle. And I am of the firm belief, if such things were within my writing reach, I’d be banging out a novel on a daily basis. As things stand, I’m facing a wall and flip-flopping between the day job and getting my quill pen out. Not ideal.
A number of years ago – and like Amber in Nudey Beach – I fancied buggering off to a writing retreat so I could crack on without distractions. Aside from hopes of some deluxe curtain-fondling, I imagined a book-filled room; a crackling log fire; a majestic view of something tree-themed; and getting stuck in at a recently-polished blokey desk. (And you’ve gotta be thinking oak, here.) Throw in an obedient hound lazing at my feet, (and possibly fixing the drinks) and the world would be my writing lobster.
So, I shoved my hooter in the interweb. Had a nosey. Found said retreats. Saw the prices. And fainted. And when I came around, I fainted again.
A rapid re-think was in order…
And my rapid re-think saw me introduced to World ‘O’ Static Caravans. Affordable, clean, take-your-own-vodka, and I always manage to write loads.
Behold…here’s one of the early ones I stayed in….
Eagle-eyed readers will doubtless spot a distinct lack of net curtains to fondle and twitch. And that the plumpness in the seating cushions has been cunningly beaten out of them to give a more cosy and ‘lived-in’ feeling to the place.
Nowadays, if I feel heady and reckless, I treat myself to one of these…
It’s not easy being a posh bird from East London – and it’s a cross that I bear without grumble. But sometimes, I have no option but to bow down to my inner poshness and bundle myself into the calibre of caravan befitting a bird like wot I is. Check out this FondleFest of Loveliness.
And if all that wasn’t enough to get you booking a stay in Static Paradise, you also get a Welcome Pack, full of discount goodies and all sorts when you rock up….
It’s not big. And it’s not clever. But it gave me a smile that wasn’t wind.
On that note…I think it’s time to close the curtains on my first blog.
As you were.
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